Cause and Effect Essay: Divorce Causes Problems For Children
- Length: 1105 words (3.2 double-spaced pages)
- Rating: Excellent
For a child, it is very hard loosing a parent. The child's life becomes more stressful because of economic loss and the loss of a supportive parent. Since many children do not adjust well, their behavior is affected. The change is devastating for many children and it affects their entire life. Divorce of parents causes many problems and affects children negatively.
The loss of a parent can cause loss in knowledge, skills, and resources from the parents. They loose such things as support from the parent in finances, emotions, and care. Children tend to have a harder time dealing with a divorce the more divorces their parents go through. The better the parents adjust to these losses, the better the children will adjust, and the fewer problems that will come about. When the child is in a single parents home, there is usually a loss of money and therefore, resources. This can lead to the child being jealous of other children and having lower self esteem.
Another cause that affects a child with divorced parents is that the child may have a more stressful life. The child may have to change schools with any move that may result from the divorce. Also, if the child is not old enough to take care of himself or herself and the now single parent works, the child would probably have to start attending a child care program. A child could have to alternate between parents in different houses which is also very hard on a child. The adjustments to different settings and what days he or she is at which house can be confusing and stressful.
In a divorce, the parents usually do not get along and may have different opinions on items. They may go to court and fight against each other about what factors caused the separation leading to the divorce and how the properties are divided. This possible exposure is very unhealthy for a child. The child sees his parents fighting and may learn from the behavior and display it. He or she may see that behavior as being an acceptable action. The fighting behavior of parents causes behavioral problems within a child. The child may hear things from one parent about the other that causes the child to take sides when he or she should be learning not to be biased and to love both parents equally.
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Children who come from divorced parents are more likely to have behavioral problems compared to those of an unbroken family. Friend problems, school problems, and jealousy problems can be examples. The child is more likely to need professional help and family therapy sessions. It is proven that boys have a harder time with a parent's divorce than girls partly because boys tend blame themselves more for the divorce. Boys are the ones that will take any blame and girls are the ones that will try not to get in the middle of problems. Children can begin to express the feelings of failure, loneliness, and depression that their parents display.
It is hard to focus on school if the child is having to help with the income (such as in the working class) or is in the middle of the divorce between parents. Time becomes an issue if the child has to appear in the court case, which can potentially lead to school troubles. To add to that issue, trouble in school can lead to future problems. The problems are a continual chain that have negative affects. Bad grades along with stress in school because of behavior problems or problems getting school work done can lead to a future that is not as brilliant as the one the child started off towards. For example, instead of becoming a doctor, a child may stop caring about school and drop out of school or become a restaurant employee, something lower than a doctor. Low grades can affect what college the child eventually gets into and therefore his or her career path.
Divorce and parental loss can result in relationship troubles. The negative influences the children gain from the divorce and the conflicts they see their parents engage in can affect how the child treats his or her friends. A negative behavior learned from the fighting of a child's parents can lead to the child fighting with other people such as peers. This can, in return, lead to a child having a hard time finding friends and people to idolize. Children can develop the "sleeper effect" which means when they grow older, they will have a hard time forming relationships with other people because they do not want to act or be treated like either on of their parents, and they become afraid of commitment.
Jealousy is also caused by parental loss because parental care may dwindle or the money for resources may become meager. This, in turn, may lead to more behavior problems. One problem can be a child becomes a bully to a classmate because the child is jealous of what the other classmate has. It can also lead to stealing because of the want for something the child can not have but another one may have. Another thing is a lower self-esteem because their new learned behavior may cause the child to loose friends or not feel as "cool" as the other children who have more friends and money.
A divorce of parents can lead to signs of distress because of hurt feelings or loss of support from parents. A child may stop eating or have a hard time sleeping. A child may become more emotional. Some children are constantly worrying while others are angry or sad. Little children with divorced parents tend to throw more tantrums than those children of married parents. Children cry more often and are not as happy when their parents are divorced. This can lead to mental instability when the child becomes older, lower self-esteem which turns into bad behaviors as previously discussed, or, to the extreme, suicide.
As a result, the things that occur when parents get divorce can negatively affect a child's life. A child is more likely to have problems and to lead a life that is not as joyous as that of a child with the parents still married. The divorce of parents greatly harms the child's relationships with people, school life, and their economic standings. These are problems that face the world today and are becoming more common. It is a sad situation that is happening, but hopefully since people are marrying later, it will decrease the numbers of children with divorced parents.
Divorce rates point to a world that does not see much success in marriage. For instance, in Maldives, the divorce rate is so high that the UN calculated that the typical Maldivian woman, by the age of 30, has been divorced three times (Marriage Advice). What are the causes of these high divorce rates? There are 10 main causes we can discuss.
Extramarital affairs is the main reason for divorces (Oliver). Infidelity causes anger and resentment among those who are married, and often tears apart the emotional connection couples have. Though one event of infidelity can be tackled through counseling, multiple accounts of extramarital affairs usually result in divorce.
Another main reason why people get divorced is money. Different spending habits, opposite financial goals, and a lack of money can produce great strain on a marriage (Oliver). If the couple has children, money becomes even more vital to the sustainability of the relationship.
Though it may seem minor, a lack of communication is another key reason for divorce. If one or both partners in the marriage feel they cannot express themselves properly, or feel they are not being listened to, resentment can easily settle in (Oliver). Yelling and interrupting are common signs that a couple is not communicating well.
Some people cannot stand the amount of arguments they have with their partners. If couples are
bickering constantly, the joy of marriage cannot show through (Oliver). Arguments commonly stem from not being able to understand another person’s view, which is essential in a healthy relationship.
Unfortunately, weight gain leads to many divorces. Say if a couple started out as both skinny, and one partner became overweight, the attraction to that partner might be lost. That loss of attraction causes many to turn in divorce papers, as they cannot fathom staying in a relationship with someone they do not feel comfortable with in a romantic way (Oliver).
Another prominent cause of divorce is unreasonable expectations (Oliver). It is good for the partners in marriage to discuss each other’s expectations before signing the matrimony papers, as partners often have varying expectations of what the marriage entails, and the positions the partners will hold in it. Sometimes one partner will have lofty expectations for the marriage without his or her partner realizing it.
Though love should be the overriding reason to get married, it seems, a lack of intimacy causes many couples to get divorced. The romantic, maybe even infatuated love that married couples feel in the beginning of their marriages eventually subsides. It is natural, but how the partners deal with this decrease in sexual contact often decides how the future marriage will pan out (Oliver).
Though common sense, equality in marriages is not often achieved. Each partner should feel equal in the marriage, and not dominated. Though it is delicate balance, it can be accomplished. Those who cannot achieve this often ask for a divorce, as they feel they are being shackled by his or her marriage instead of feeling a sense of joy and happiness from the relationship (Oliver).
Alas, some people are not prepared for marriage. Many people rush to get married in a romantic frenzy without taking in the consequences of such an action (Oliver). They could be unprepared in terms of financial stability, emotional stability, and mental stability. Surprisingly, the age group with the highest rate of divorce are people in their 20s (Oliver). So, when getting married, be sure that you feel that everything is set for the occasion.
A sad fact about marriages is that with emotional, physical, and mental strain, abuse can follow. This abuse does not have to refer to only physical abuse, but also emotional and psychological abuse (Oliver). Abuse can come from both men and women, and should not be thought of only as an attack against women, however women are subject to most of the physical abuse that occurs.
As you can see, the cause of divorce is multifaceted. Though one issue might put enough pressure on a marriage for the couple to go for a divorce, commonly a combination of problems arise that lend to the couple pondering the end of their relationship. Through infidelity, money issues, a lack of communication, constant arguing, weight gain, unrealistic expectations, a lack of intimacy, a lack of equality, a lack of preparedness, and abuse, marriages are broken. It is important for couples, therefore, to get counseling when any of these issues arise.
Oliver Smith (2017). Mapped: The countries with the highest divorce rate. [online] The Telegraph. Available at: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/maps-and-graphics/mapped-countries-with-highest-divorce-rate/ [Accessed 20 Sep. 2017].
Marriage Advice – Best Marriage Advice & Tips for Couples. (2017). 10 Most Common Reasons for Divorce | Marriage.Com. [online] Available at: https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/10-most-common-reasons-for-divorce/ [Accessed 20 Sep. 2017].
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